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Business English Intensive Reading Book2 Unit Twelve

• 归国留学生……
  returned overseas students instead of repatriated
• 过去的穷乡僻壤……
  remote barren land matches the author's intention while hinterland may be one substitute for this but specifically it means the inner part of a country, beyond the coast or the banks of an important river, the Chinese equivalent of which is 内地、内陆。
• 远程教育……
  distance learning instead of long-distance... as the word alone is enough.
• 外资大量引进……
  The introduction of a great amount of foreign investment....herein the word introduction means to put sth. into something, or bring in something new, to bring something to a place, into existence, or into operation for the first time.
  IMPORT: to bring something or cause something to be brought in from another country, usually for commercial or industrial purposes. Thus commonly when used in trading and etc., import is often used, but when knowledge, experience or ideas and regulations are concerned, introduction is a good choice.

这两位归国留学生在发展电子商务方面不谋而合，半年之后他们建立了自己的企业(coincide with)

典型错误
The two returned students coincided with the development of e-commerce, so they set up their own enterprise after half a year.

正确参考翻译
The two returned overseas students coincided on the idea of developing electronic commerce; thereby they established their own enterprise six months later.

先参见Microsoft Encarta Premium的关于coincide的解释

intransitive verb
1. happen at same time: to happen at or around the same time
2. be same in position or form: to occupy the same place or be exactly alike in position or form
3. agree: to agree exactly

课文中的原句
The blossoming of exchanges and market pricing has coincided with the growth of personal political freedom.

对照可知，课文原句里使用的是该词的意1，而翻译中需要同学使用的是意3。

本句其它一些错误并不严重，诸如：
both of the two students; two of the returned students等.