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Established in 2010, Suzhou BIMORE Elevator Parts Co., Ltd. is located in Suzhou City, Jiangsu Province, close to Shanghai. It is one of the most professional suppliers of escalator and elevator spare parts in the world. Our mission is to provide customers with accurate maintenance spare parts and precise technical support. Elevator products include fragile parts such as buttons, switches, sensors and rollers; escalator parts include handrails, step chains, steps, step demarcations, comb plates and other fragile parts. Our parts are suitable for Thyssenkrupp, Kone, Schindler, Otis, Mitsubishi, Sigma, Fujitec and other brands. And are widely used in airports, subways, hotels, shopping malls such public transportation fields. So far, our parts have been exported to over 80 countries such as the USA, UK, Italy, Portugal, Mexico, Australia, Argentina, Russia, Philippines, Thailand, Indonesia, Malaysia and so on.

We have an independent warehouse and BOM warehousing system, which is convenient to trace the detailed information of each spare parts to ensure that customers get accurate and high-quality products. Our company has more than 15,000 SKU products matching the elevator and escalator brand. We will continue our efforts in this regard to accumulate more and better SKU product information to help more maintenance companies achieve the task of replacing spare parts more effectively.

Looking forward to reaching cooperation with customers all over the world and making friends with customers with sincerity.

我看了下全文，因为不是中英对照，具体的信息不完全了解，就罗列几点。

1. 公司名称严谨一点说，应当要符合官方正式注册的信息，目前你这段里用的是“Suzhou BIMORE Elevator Parts Co., Ltd.”，但我查到的几处，如阿里巴巴、TradeIndia、HiSupplier等上面的是如“Suzhou Bimore Escalator & (Lift) Parts Co.,Ltd ”，其中的BIMORE用的是小写，尽管读起来都一样，但最好能够统一。如果你正式注册的官方名称是全大写的，那么建议将几个贸易类网站上现有的按官方注册的更新一下，或者沿用比如阿里巴巴上外国生意伙伴已经习惯了的Bimore。此外，http://www.chinabimore.com/ 这个站的数据库似乎连接上有些问题，无法访问，如果是你公司的站，官方名称也要决定一下，目前引擎上缓存中显示的是Suzhou Bimore Elevator Escalator Co.Ltd.

2. 开头第一句打头尽量不要采用established... BIMORE这样的结构，通常这类介绍性文字可以先把公司名称亮出来，建立地区和时间所谓的状语可以后置，另外你这个公司名称里有地区名苏州，建立地点还是苏州，两个重复词在句子结构的位置上适合拉开一些距离，因此可以把Suzhou BIMORE Elevator...Ltd调至整句开头，如“Suzhou BIMORE Elevator...Ltd., (which is) established in 2010 and located in Suzhou, Jiangsu, adjacent to Shanghai”。这句里靠近上海，除了adjacent，还有neighboring等词汇和结构，只不过有些是后跟，有些是前置当定语。

3. “It is one of the most professional...”到后面的Our mission这里稍有点不连贯，因为前面是旁观者指代的it，后面就是“我们的”，这里可以调节一下，例如“As one of the most professional suppliers..., our mission is to...”，合并为整句后，也可以避免英文结构上的一种短句破碎感。

4. “Our parts are... other brands. And are...”这两句其实可以合并，中间句号改逗号即可。此外，这个parts，比如说“so far, our parts...”一直在重复使用这个parts这个词，但表达的其实是你公司的产品的产品的意思，因此实际上有的地方的可以改为如our products这样的用词。

5. 第一段里有个地方我对技术层面的归属和细节不了解。“Elevator products include fragile parts such as...”这处如果不考虑技术和专业层面的话，其实可以再简单一些，比如类似“The fragile parts of the elevators/The elevator fragile parts such as...”，此外，fragile parts似乎你想用来解释易损易耗件，这个似乎不常见，有些地方是用consumable或non-durable products/parts这类词的，你后面第二段用的spare parts也可以，多数情形下，备件大多是易耗可更换的部件类产品。

6. 第二段里“We will continue our efforts in this regard to...”当中的in this regard就不需要了，或者换成in this area。

7. 第二段里“more and better SKU...”这里可以换成更容易理解更直观的词汇，如more detailed and precise，具体看想表达的涵义。但是如果用了more，后面的“help more maintenance companies”就不合适了，两个邻近的more最好只用一个，例如后面可用“a growing number of companies”表达更多的公司的意思。

8. 最后一段起头最好加上we are，书面写作中一般不直接用looking forward这样的动名词带整个句子。此外，最后的with sincerity可以直接用副词就行。